Codependence is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. This kind of issue has roots in someone’s childhood and the reasons why are always hard to explain. Codependence can impact your relationships and the way in which you function in society.
A therapist can really help you control your codependency and enjoy healthier, happier relationships. But first you should know how to identify codependency, then seek help or try to change things for the better.
The Savior Complex
If you find yourself always helping others and feeling the urge to save everybody or help them with responsibilities, this is one of the telltale signs that you are a codependent person. It is perfectly human and fine to be empathetic and to help people out, but when this tendency turns into an obsession, you should start to ask yourself why. When you start neglecting your life and your responsibilities to help others, you need to change this unhealthy pattern.
For All the Wrong Reasons
Each time you help someone with something, you feel a sense of accomplishment and your confidence receives a boost, too. Altruism, true altruism isn’t driven by ulterior motives.
You get attached to persons and see past their flaws. This is how you usually end up in toxic relationships. And you can’t let go because you think people deserve a lot of chances and they eventually change for the better. But they never do. On the contrary, it becomes worse. You end up being manipulated and taken advantage of.
You Can’t Fix People
But you think you do. You are not a psychologist or a therapist. You think you’re helping others, but in fact you may make matters worse for both you and the other persons involved in a certain situation.
You Have Difficulties Setting Boundaries and Saying No
You are a yes man most of the times and even if you want to say no, you end up saying yes out of various reasons. You feel that you have to compromise and make sacrifices so that others are happy. Even if you end up being miserable or feeling lonely or mistreated. Even if at the beginning of any relationship or social interaction you set certain boundaries when people cross it you don’t act. You let it slide.
You Find Excuses
When people are harming you in any way, you find excuses for their behavior and actions. Another classical case of codependency.
Why You Need to Change Something in Your Life
Even if you think nothing is wrong with your life, you are still unhappy. You have to learn to be a little more selfish and start doing things to make yourself happy. You deserve to feel fulfilled and to pursue your dreams and achieve your goals. You can have a healthy, happy relationship. You can only change your codependence tendencies by seeing a therapist, reading about your issue and joining support groups. By doing your research and understanding why and what you’re suffering from, you can start seeing things from a more objective point of view. Support groups will also help you meet people just like you. You’re not alone. You can beat codependence.